Rise and Shine – Personal Development is a Lifestyle

Personal development technology is not a telephone booth that doubles as a dressing room for us to change into our super self.

True self improvement addresses the strengths and weaknesses of the individual. It guides us in the process of supplementing our deficiencies and reducing our excesses. One size does not fit all.

Those of us interested and actively involved in the personal development journey have by now become familiar with the focus placed on constant forward motion in self improvement literature.

The gurus of self improvement are for the most part type A, take no prisoners, no surrender-no retreat icons of maximum performance.

But what about the rest of us. What about the type B folks, who are content with living our dream of non-competitive personal best.

What about those who are motivated by an intrinsic sense of self-expression and self-actualization that does not revolve around besting the gal next door.

An integral and very important tool employed in the personal development journey is the observation of retreat. Retreat is removal of oneself from the normal activities and environment. It provides a clear space and time for you to reintegrate, reflect and renew.

When we retreat, we remove ourselves from the battle field. We find a safe place where we can go within for assessment and reparation.

Retreat allows us a moment to listen to the signals that may be getting drowned out by the constant rabble of the world. We embrace quietude, reflection and assessment as a foundation from which our next campaign will be launched. We slow down, tune in and right our course.

When we re-enter the fray, we return with clarity, having dropped the excess baggage of the previous encounter.

We return with strength centered in the core of our being and ready to be directed. We return focused, eye on the prize and single minded.

Retreats are necessary and should be built into all of the cycles of our life. There are not just for special times of year. But are for transitioning from one campaign, task, strategy to the next.

Here are some ways we can work retreat into our personal development lifestyle.

• Use a portion of your meal time to retreat. Don’t just rush down your food then rush back to your work station. A focused, sincere prayer before eating is the ideal retreat. After your meal, a casual walk with no “next” destination on your local streets or a park is an excellent daily constitutional.
• Incorporate internal exercise time into your day. Practice 20 min. of yoga, tai chi or qi gong or some other internal art. If you are not yet a practitioner. Take a class 1-2 sessions per week and practice on your own.

• Choose a scripture or passage from you favorite spiritual text and contemplate it’s deeper meaning in your life. What does the passage mean to you? How does speak to you personally? What can you take from it to improve your life and the life of those around you?

• One day of your week should be a Sabbath day. A day that is focused on connecting to the source of your being. A day devoted to inner labor. A day to let the cares of the world fend for themselves.

• Once a month take a trip with family and friends to a nature setting. A lake, a park, on a hike, a hot spring, a waterfall. In inclement weather go to a spa and allow the sauna and steam rooms to melt your stress and eliminate your toxins.

• An annual retreat with your religious or spiritual organization is always rejuvenating. You will return re-connected to divine, humanity and nature. With clear purpose to guide you in the coming year.

These are but a few ways to hit the reset button of your spirit and unclutter your brain, so it may serve you optimally in the challenges ahead. Start incorporating retreats into your schedule today. Notice the way you feel and perform after re-entry. Develop your on protocol for how to get the most out of your retreat time, based on your own personality and needs.

“Girl, this guy was so fine, he could have gotten anything he wanted from me . . . . . . . but then he opened his mouth.” Now it’s possible that Sir. Dude had a really terrifying grill (teeth for the uninitiated), but more than likely, he shot himself in the foot with every word he spoke.

It doesn’t matter if you are conversing with friends, a prospective employer or doing public speaking, your ability to sell your ideas, intent and desires can make or break you.

If you are reading my blog, you are more than likely interested in realizing your most effective self and creating the best life possible for yourself, your family and community. Your success in reaching these goals are directly related to your ability to communicate from your ‘best self’ to everyone you meet.

Your speech is the invisible hand that knocks on the door of opportunity. Too soft and no one hears. To hard and you become annoying. Use the words, tone and body language that rings your target’s bell and gets them to invite you in.

Our speech patterns, choice of vocabulary and body language are habits that we have developed at a very early age. Fortunately, it’s one of the easiest habits to modify or completely transform with some focused intervention.

Here are 8 tips to get you started on honing your gift of gab:

1.Silence is golden

There is nothing more annoying than that person who just won’t shut up. Effective communication begins with being a good listener. When someone else is speaking, give them your complete attention. Listen intentionally. Don’t just receive the words. Allow yourself to feel where they are coming from. Even if you don’t agree.

2.The eyes don’t lie.

Your eyes communicate interest, confidence, emotion and energy level. Maintain a soft focus on the person or audience you are speaking to. Shifting your focus at every little distraction conveys disinterest and lack of discipline.

3.Lighten up.

Even when discussing serious topics, it can be helpful to add a little comic relief. A witty joke or humorous observation can relieve tension at just the right moment and endear listeners to you on a level deeper than words. Let your smile be like sunshine- warm and welcoming.

4.The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

In the end, we communicate with others to express what is going on within us. Only we hear our thoughts, feel our pain or sense our pleasure, unless we express it. The more accurate our message, the better chances of getting the response we want and deserve. Be authentic, don’t beat around the bush. Make it plain.

5.Call and response

Communication is a two way street. Everyone wants to be understood. Develop rapport by occasionally paraphrasing the speech of the person your talking to. “You mean after everything you did for them, they . . . . . .”, “So what happened after the car rolled . . . . . .” Let them know that you’re in this together. In every conversation, someone is telling you their story, and they are inviting you to be a part of it. Play your role!

6.Association breeds assimilation

The life you want to live is being lived by others right now. Every lifestyle is a sort of sub-culture. They speak the same language as everyone else. But nuanced to their worldview and sensitivities. Get into their circle by joining the groups they belong to, attend events they attend. Befriend someone who’s communication style you admire and speak with them regularly- in person and/or by phone. The more time you spend talking with them, you will acquire their language style by osmosis, . My oldest daughter went to college in Nashville. She speaks with a slight southern drawl to this day. And acquired it with effortlessly.

7.Always be prepared

If you are unaccustomed to speaking in front of groups and have a presentation approaching, prepare yourself. Become familiar with your presentation through visual, auditory and kinetic stimulation. Write down notes of your major points on note cards. Deliver your presentation in the mirror (visual). Notice your affect and body language (kinetic) and adjust it to make the impression that you desire. Listen (auditory) to yourself (better yet, tape yourself) and adjust your tone, volume, rhythm and speed where necessary. After a few presentations you will have developed a style you are comfortable with and future preparation will not require as much effort.

8.If you don’t know, you better ask somebody.

If you get the feeling you are incorrectly pronouncing a word, you probably are. Don’t be afraid to ask- “am I saying that correctly.” People will appreciate your humility and willingness to learn. This could save you the embarrassment of making a fool of yourself on a regular basis. On the same note, don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know.” Nobody likes a ‘know it all’, especially when you don’t know what you think you know. Learn to “stay in your lane.” When a conversation starts to veer into the technical and factual, if you are not accustomed to swimming in these particular waters, stay on the shore. Your chiropractor’s license does not qualify you to diagnose engine problems.

Tackle these tips one at a time. Each one is guaranteed to improve your ability to open doors, hearts and minds. Your clothing makes the first impression on people you are meeting for the first time, but your speech makes a deeper and more lasting one.

Leave comment below on which of the 8 tips you felt would be most beneficial to you or someone close to you.

Thousand’s of books, articles, and media productions are published each year, targeting the human need to be productive. Self improvement enthusiast adopt new productivity strategies, like overweight people adopt diets. Each new offering is the flavor of the month.

We all know when we are not being productive. We can sense within ourselves a hint of falling short. There is a certain disappointment with our efforts and accomplishments, that leaves us feeling unfulfilled.

This sense of coming up short is a warning signal flashing on our divinity meter. It let’s us know, that we are not being the creators we were meant to be. We are not using the talents, intelligence, life force and consciousness that is our divine inheritance to create a haven for ourselves, our loved ones and the world.

Nature is a prime example of productivity in action. Every moment life is being created, growing, maturing, declining and passing away. Only to be replaced by new life, that will follow the same cycle.

What do we learn from the natures productive cycle?

• within every seed lies the template of the fruit – start your day with a goal in mind.
• The birth of the seed marks the death of the fruit – complete the previous task and have closure before initiating something new.
• before a tree rises up, the seed sinks into the earth to root itself – prepare for the productive journey by gathering the material, emotional and mental resources required. Root yourself in the certainty of a successful outcome before you make your plans public.
• Like the stem that becomes the trunk, your initial efforts toward your goal must be bold, passionate and focused. This initial surge will create the momentum that will help to keep you moving upward and forward when the unforeseen challenges arise (and they will arise).

Daily accomplishments are not just about checking to-dos off of a list. Every time you make a plan and carry it through, you strengthen your soul force and communicate value and respect for your very life breath. These are the prayers that reach heaven and shape earth.  In contrast, breaking you word to self, eats away at your soul confidence and increases your personal burden of guilt, apathy, doubt and fear.

Each task completed reduces the power of the adversary that is our own doubtful, rebellious thought habits.  When you keep your personal promise, your word becomes the bond that re-connects you to your divine promise/purpose/birth right.

Let’s be fruitful and multiply!

Self-Improvement is an holistic journey. The tendency to compartmentalize our life into separate formal and informal boxes and buckets, compounds the problems standing in the way of our becoming Extraordinary.

True, there is a time and place for everything, but this only serves to organize and increase the efficiency of our self-improvement efforts.

What I am getting at is this: Personal development initiatives must incorporate our whole life, in order to reap the most benefit.

We need to assess our effectiveness in meeting the demands of our material, physical, social and spiritual life. Then use that assessment as the foundation of our plan to reduce our excesses and supplement our deficiencies.

Although it can effectively enhance and fine tune our career, personal development is not career or professional development. It is the souls journey from seed to fruit.

It is our conscious effort to feed the world our brightest, juiciest and most fragrant self. While simultaneously planting the seed compasses for tomorrows personal development travelers.